Pay It Forward.. If You Dare

Pay It Forward... If You Dare

I have personal traditions. Little, personal, things that I do regularly that I typically don't share with the masses. I also have a pretty large set of mantras and things that I use to help me guide me through my day and my life in general. I think we all have those whether we recognize them or not.  

I'm a firm believer in paying it forward.. someone does something nice for me, I feel obligated (most of the time, anyway) to turn it around to do something nice for someone else. Call it Karma, or whatever, but it gives me a balance in my life. Now, let's be realistic here for a moment.. *MOST* of the nice things we do for people go unnoticed, and for me, it's the element of anonymous surprise that fulfills my karma-quota. I do not feel the need for recognition, or a "thank-you" or a pat on the back for doing something unexpectedly nice for someone.. in fact, I have pretty strong feelings about those that REQUIRE recognition.. but that, my friends, is another post.

So, to get back to the purpose of this particular post... personal traditions. Like I said, I don't share my personal traditions with folks, usually, because.. well, they wouldn't be personal if I shared them, would they? But I'll make an exception today because I believe I have an important message to share.

Every morning on my way to work, I stop at the Starbuck's that across the street from my office. This has been a daily ritual for the past four years. They know me there, they have my "Venti Pike" ready by the time I get to the counter, and they ALWAYS greet me with a pleasant smile and tell me to have a great day. (Hmm.. "have a great day".. that urks me too.. but again, another post).

My personal tradition is an annual pay-it-forward tradition that I do on (or very close to) my birthday.  I go into my favorite Starbuck's, give the Barista a $10 bill, to pay for as many drinks as it will cover for the folks that come in behind me (probably only two or three at most).  So, this morning, I implemented my annual plan since I'm taking the next couple of days off. I got my coffee, and headed over to the "fixing station" to cream and sugar my coffee.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned to see the guy who was behind me in line -- he was about 35ish, wearing a suit, and overcoat.  I said hello to him and his reply completely floored me. "I don't need, want, or appreciate you buying my coffee."  After a moment of disbelief, I replied, "Oh, well I certainly didn't mean to offend you in any way. I just do that..."  Interrupting me, he shoved three dollars in my hand and said, "I don't need to hear your fucking sob story. I'll pay for my own Goddamned coffee and don't need your charity."  And he walked out.

I didn't know if I should be offended, angry, hurt, or sad for him. Stunned, I walked outside and lit my cigarette, and stood outside my office building reviewing the situation that had just occurred. I spent a few moment listening to my internal dialogue:  "Some folks are simply assholes, I concluded. In fact, I decided that mankind is full of assholes that don't know what graciousness is. Why should I care? Why do I go out of my way to be nice to people??  Fuck this.. so much for feeling good about doing something nice for people... this little tradition ends today!!"

And then, when I thought all hope for humanity was lost, it redeemed itself in the form of a young man of about 20 years old who crossed the street and came up to me. He said hello, and said the following [I'm paraphrasing a little]:

"I just saw what happened to you in Starbucks. I was behind that asshole in line. I saw you outside and wanted to come over and say thank you for buying my latte. I've heard about people doing this at Starbuck's during the holidays, but it's never happened to me before. I just wanted to say that you deserve a thank you, and tell you how much it means to me to see someone being nice to strangers for no reason."

Ok.. so my faith in humanity was restored and as we parted, he shook my hand and said...

"Have a great day!"